The 3 C’s for Porn Addiction Recovery

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I found myself trapped.

I was stuck in a self-loathing cycle, knowing fully well I had an issue with porn addiction, realising that my relationship was not loving but lustful and feeling my identity being torn, as my body demanded more of that poison while my heart ached for God. So I got on my knees at the little chapel of the women’s dormitory and asked God for a new beginning.

And so He granted it to me.

My boyfriend broke up with me at the end of 2015. Although heartbroken, I knew it was the best thing for me right now. I needed to heal.

As a New Year dawned, Pope Francis announced the Year of Mercy. At the beginning of 2016 I promised God I would dedicate myself to Him alone, to detoxify myself from porn and instead fill my heart, mind and soul with the good, the true and the beautiful. Porn perverts the idea of love and sexuality, and God is continuously cleansing me from the poison that was my porn addiction. I can tell you: it was not easy at all, because the shame of having this addiction perpetuated my sin. Sin thrives in shame and silence, because that silence separates you from God and from those who love and support you the most. And so to recover from this shame and come back into God’s healing arms I followed 3 things, which I call the 3 C’s.

 

#1 Confession.

The first thing I did was go before God realising my sin and seeking His forgiveness personally through Confession. I was scared to confess the sin, especially because I was committing it repeatedly, over and over again. But God is a Merciful Father. He never condemns you for your sin. I listened to a podcast by Ascension Roundtable, where the presenter posed this situation:

Picture this: you are holding an iPad watching porn, and suddenly Jesus walks into the room. What do you think He would do? Usually people respond with “He would be angry at me” “He would say, you are nailing me to the cross again” and so on. But what He would actually do is take the iPad, throw it away and give you a massive hug saying: “I am sorry this happened to you, I love you and I will never abandon you.” And he would say this over and over again.

God never condemns us. He only condemns the sin, but He would never condemn us because we are His children. So experiencing the mercy of God in my own life made it easier to communicate my difficulties with impurity.

 

#2 Communication.

I found there are two dimensions to communication.

The SPIRITUAL DIMENSION, which involves praying to God. Through my healing and recovery, I tried to be in a constant conversation with Him. This can be done through the exercise of presence of God (which I will write about in my next blog post). It was essential for me to put God as my priority: reserving special time for prayer, attending mass and seeing Him at adoration, letting Him know my progress in the practice of purity.

But the practice of purity is nothing if you don’t talk to someone about a plan of action. so the HUMAN DIMENSION is also important. This is where I constantly communicated my sins and struggles with my confessor and sought spiritual guidance from a female spiritual advisor. This was the most difficult step for me to take. It’s always difficult to acknowledge your weaknesses before others. But when you really trust these people and you know that they care about your wellbeing and won’t judge you, it is so good. That is why, the last “C” was so crucial to my recovery from porn addiction.

 

#3 Community.

This was the biggest turning point in my journey towards healing. During 2016, I joined the Catholic Society at University of Technology Sydney (UTS), where I met so many men and women that were such good role models to me. Although none of my friends there had any idea about my struggle with impurity and pornography, having people that cared about me and respected me and that I really admired for their devotion to God, that is what ultimately helped me to recover completely from my porn addiction.

Being in a community such as UTS Catholic Society I found a second family. In my family I don’t have any brothers, so it was the first time ever that I had brothers. I learnt how to respect men’s dignity, to love them with a brotherly love without expecting anything in return. I developed great friendships with women that are helping me to flourish into the woman God meant for me to be.

 

During that Year of Mercy I learnt how it is to be loved by God and others. And I also learnt how to authentically love God, others and also myself. And I am going to be completely honest with you: I am still on that journey towards recovery. This cross will be mine to carry for the rest of my life, as I will need to be battling this weakness of mine daily, and I gladly want to carry it and show it to the world, in the hopes that other women who are struggling with sexual sins, especially porn addiction may know that they are not alone in this battle against sin.

5 thoughts on “The 3 C’s for Porn Addiction Recovery

  1. Cynthia says:

    I love how God dispenses His supernatural healing power through relationships with others. Healing from a personal porn addiction, or the effects of a loved one’s addiction, is one of those times that we need people to walk with. The relationships become an unexpected blessing. Cheering you on….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Joy says:

    This is so inspiring and I am sure others will hopefully feel inspired hearing this and witnessing your journey. There is always hope.
    So glad to hear again utscathsoc was one of ways which helped you on your journey too. God bless 🙂

    Like

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