I was shaking as I sat beside my sister in the living, wondering how she would react. I thought I would just let it out like it’s nothing. I will just say it.
“I watch porn a lot.”
She turned to me blankly and said, “Okay.”
Tension in my chest released. “I was scared you were gonna judge me!”
“Why would I judge you?”
I made the right call to tell my older sister out of all people. She was someone I could trust and would not judge me for the wrong things I was doing, but would still support me in becoming better.
That is the scariest part of the recovery journey: communicating about your addiction. But it was such an essential element for me to get on the road to improvement, because if I didn’t tell someone, I wouldn’t be accountable for this healing journey.
You don’t need to tell the whole world about the addiction you are facing, of course. But just people who you trust and that will be able to give you the support you need to reach your goal to overcome porn addiction.
Here are 5 ways that will help you become accountable for your healing journey:
Talk to someone you trust
Think about who is that one close person you know loves you, will support you and won’t judge you or your situation. It may be a friend or a relative. The only one in my family who knew about my difficulties with porn addiction was my older sister and no one else. It is someone you can talk about your frustrations with your struggles, but who won’t tell you how you should be or what you should do. I like to call them companions on your journey.
Install a filtering program on your devices
It is very important to have filtering programs on your devices to restrict your access to pornography. One filtering program that is pretty good is Covenant Eyes. It not only filters the inappropriate sites, ads, etc., but it also has an accountability program. But not only that, Covenant Eyes has also been designed with an Internet Accountability Service, where you can keep accountability with a trusted friend through this filtering program to help you monitor your activity over the internet.
Seek professional therapy
A therapist will help you tackle the obstacles you encounter throughout your recovery journey. I will be honest with you, I didn’t get therapy until after I had given up my porn addiction, but I wish I had. I realised that my addiction to masturbation and porn were coping mechanisms for my anxiety and loneliness. But once I had given it up, I had no other strategies that would help me to cope with those distressing feelings. A therapist can be a really good accountability partner with professional tools to help you manage with the transition to a porn-free life.
Go to weekly confession and spiritual guidance
A pivotal element in my recovery journey! Weekly confession was my go-to for accountability. I confessed my sins to the same priest every single week and would seek spiritual guidance on the spiritual warfare that would aid me to battle against this struggle with porn. Although it was quite daunting at first, I have come to love confession completely! The priest is Christ’s instrument of mercy. He is not there to judge, but to help you on your way towards Heaven.
Pray to Jesus before the Blessed Sacrament
Finally, have a personal chat with Jesus to touch base on your recovery journey. Jesus is the primary person you can always turn to for healing. He wants to know it all: your difficulties, your triumphs, your falls, your struggles… He wants to know all so He can walk with you through it all. Whenever you fall, turn to Him. When you feel weak, turn to Him. When you can’t get back up, turn to Him. He will carry you in the most challenging of times.
“No man is an island”. God did not create you to be alone. He created all of us for community. Accountability is a way to create that community: one that will support you through the healing journey you embark on, wherever you may be in life. Seek the support of your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, for:
“Just as one body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body – whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free – and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.” (1 Corinthians 12:12-13)