For the past 5 years I have been trying to find my place in the world.
In the past 5 years, I have dropped out of 3 courses, attended two different universities and finally found my way completing a Diploma of Counselling at TAFE (tertiary institution). I still am working through towards my place in the world. And this year I ended up in despair: not knowing what to do with my life, not knowing my place in the world.
I am 23 and still trying to find my way, when society dictates to me that I should have a 9-5 job to financially support myself, I should have my own property, I should have my health on-check. I am a 23 year old that is still recovering from sex addiction and going through a phase of anxiety and depression, when I should have it all together by now.
All of these worries are worldly. They are governed by a materialistic mindset.
I was scrolling through my YouTube playlists and came across Fr Mike Schmitz from Ascension Presents. Back in 2016 I used to listen to his talks online constantly. He was one of the greatest influences in my life back then. So I decided to have a look at one of his latest videos, which I highly recommend.
I was so lost until I listened to him as he spoke about developing a clear vision of life. This was what called my heart back to the Father:
While vision focuses our decisions, decisions determine our destiny. Fr Mike Schmitz
My vision has suddenly cleared.
It wasn’t about the job I had. It wasn’t about the money I had. It wasn’t about whether I was perfect or not. It is all about the use of my gifts for the glory of God. It is all about making a gift of myself from God to the world.
But what was I pursuing right at this moment? My thoughts were consumed by careers, money, perfectionism, comparisons with others… I prayed to God about these worldly worries and remembered this bible passage:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” Matthew 6:25-27
Just like Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta once said “Yesterday is gone, tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” There is nothing for me to fear, for God is with me always. All I have is today to do all I can to make my life better for the glory of God our Father.
These insecurities deep in my heart… they are nothing compared to what God has in store for me. He is my Father and is here to protect me, bless me and give me everlasting peace. All I have to do is do all that I can with the means at my disposal, and He will do the rest. All I need to do is trust Him.
Saint John Paul II, intercede for me.
Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, intercede for me.
Saint Therese of Lisieux, intercede for me.
Mother Mary, Mother of Pure Love, pray for me.